Deadly Science
by DinosaurDeryck
Summary: No matter how many times he had played this in his mind, it was completely different from how he expected it to be. He wasn't calm at all, he was extremely nervous, afraid that something would go wrong.


He was completely prepared. Or maybe not? Logan sighed as he ran through all the things he had to do before he was able to end all of it. Not making it obvious what he was planning to do? Check. Making sure Carlos, Kendall and James thought he was working on their science project? Check. Making sure the letters didn't arrive to soon? Check. Making sure that Carlos, Kendall and James will be able to do all the ongoing project without him? Check, he almost finished everything already for them. Making sure the teachers didn't notice that he took the bottle of Ethanol with him while he was in the lab? Check. Making sure that no one would find him to soon? Check, though he wasn't so sure about this one, he just hoped that it would go right.

Was this really the best way to end his life? Drinking a bottle of Ethanol that will make his internal organs burn? Wasn't he suppose to be the smartest kid in school? However, Logan quickly shoved those thoughts away. Of course it was the best idea. He wouldn't be able to get his hands on a gun, he wouldn't know where to get a good rope or a good place if he was going to hang himself, cutting his wrists would be too messy and if he jumped off a building or bridge people would notice too soon. He didn't want people to notice too soon, somehow he thought there would be a change that people were able to save him. The second reason why he didn't want to jump off somewhere high is that he could end up looking horrible when he was dead, and he couldn't do that to his loved ones. No, using Ethanol was the best idea. It was very easy to get his hands on, he knew where to find it, it wouldn't give a mess at all and his body would look like he was peacefully sleeping when he would be dead. He could care less about the pain, because he's already been through so much pain. It was the reason he wanted to kill himself, to get rid of the pain, and he wouldn't mind having to suffer a little before it would finally end.

There were many reasons why Logan wanted to do this. One of the main reasons was the pain of course. The pain of knowing that no one really loves you. He didn't feel like anyone truly loved him. His parents were just nagging about school all the time, and if they were not nagging about school then they were nagging about how his brother was way better than him at everything. He didn't hate his brother though, because his brother was the only one who ever truly cared about him, but of course he had to be taken from Logan by that stupid plane accident. The only friends he had were Carlos, Kendall and James, and even though they've been his best friends for years, they were also the only friends he ever had. Whenever Logan would get bullied because he was so smart they would usually just watch, or walk away. He was closest with Carlos, who would sometimes offer to help him after the bullies were done with the smart kid. However, Carlos usually was quite oblivious to his pale friend's feelings, and he didn't want to talk about it with Kendall and James, so in the end Logan still had no one.

Logan looked at the bottle, was he sure about this? There was no turning back once he poured the contents in his mouth. He would hurt everyone that cared about him, but then again, who actually cared about him? Maybe Carlos but.. No, Carlos didn't care either. Logan shook his head, he shouldn't get his hopes up, it would only cause him more pain. The smart kid sighed and looked at the bottle again. He'd better hurry up, so the chances of someone finding him before he was actually dead would be smaller. His hands were shaking uncontrollably while he tried to remove the cover of the Ethanol bottle. No matter how many times he had played this in his mind, it was completely different from how he expected it to be. He wasn't calm at all, he was extremely nervous, afraid that something would go wrong. Logan took a deep breath while staring at the full bottle of Ethanol one last time, and then poured all of the contents into his mouth. He swallowed quickly, making sure he wouldn't be able to spit it out. The pale boy had a very strong urge to cough, but he managed to control it. His expression turned into pain as the liquid burned down his throat, and he had a hard time keeping himself from screaming. Logan bit on his lip, hoping it would easy the pain a little. However, it somehow only made it more painful. Logan tried to talk himself through it, thinking about how the pain would end soon, how it would all be worth it. He soon got used to the pain, and leaned against the wall behind him. He slowly closed his eyes while a smile formed on his face, and slipped away..


End file.
